I wrote these words on the untimely death of my youngest son last year.  A friend recently asked where she could find them to share with others. So…here they are, published on the anniversary of his death.  Feel free to share.  

I also posted my thoughts at that time on…‘The meaning of life…’

For TOM

Thoughts on his ‘passing through’…1980 – 2014

It is not the time for tears and sadness,
To think of words unspoken or love denied
It is a time for reflection, and
To feel a life still present

It is not a time for separation and withdrawal,
To take refuge in our own grief and sorrow
It is a time for coming together
To cherish a life that is with us still

It is not the time for anger or despair,
To regret opportunities lost or what could have been
It is a time for understanding, and
To know a life that is wonderful

It is not the time for loss and emptiness,
To mourn the gaping hole and wish it were not so
It is a time for love and kindness, and
To caress a life that is beautiful

It is not the time for distraction or disquiet
To think what should have been
It is a time for peace and tranquillity, and
To remember a life that is resting nearby

It is not the time for confusion and bewilderment,
To ponder why and how, questions with no answers now
It is a time for clarity and purpose, and
To see a life that has no end

It is not the time to be worried or afraid,
To be lost in the troubles of our own life
It is a time for happiness and joy, and
To celebrate a life that made a difference

It is not the time to end this story,
To close the book and say no more
It is a time for keeping on, and
To love a life that we hold dear

It is not the time to say farewell,
To part our ways and sail for distant shores
It is a time for keeping close, and
To remember the gifts of a life we share

It is a time to speak of Tom
It is a time to say

Take my hand, for you are always with me,

Take my hand, for you are always my friend,

Take my hand, for I will walk with you,

For I am your whanau,
I am your monga,
I am your waka,
I am your moana

I am here with you still, for

I cannot leave this place without you

Take my hand…